i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
