My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
