Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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