dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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