She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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