yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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