just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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