i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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