I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
