Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
