He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
