have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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