Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
