I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
