you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
how does that bad decision feel?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
