thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
