Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it's like heaven, but drunker
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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