I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
