At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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