Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
