that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
