An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
