Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
