I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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