i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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