I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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