is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Farmville is her only friend.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
