I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
