I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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