I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
