lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
