nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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