her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
