is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
