there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
