3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
