Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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