the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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