She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
