Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
