my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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