i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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