I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
