we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
