Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize