the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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