There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
