i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize