The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
