is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize