Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
