They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize