Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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