You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
