What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
