dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
