we have officially lost it.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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