But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
