people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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